Donald Trump issues order banning all dual nationals from USMNT

Breaking with past precedent and sparking outrage among his detractors, President Donald Trump today issued an executive order demanding the cessation of dual nationals from being eligible for the US Men’s National Team.  The edict, which bars players who hold citizenship in multiple countries, came with typically harsh words from the President.

“America is the biggest country, the best one,” Trump intoned after signing the order.  “When we are represented by men who can’t even pick a side, who maintain their foreignness, we do worsely.  Now is the time to make America great again, and that means having only real American players, who have always been the biggest players.”

Trump also vowed to build a wall around the US embassy in Germany to prevent the “thousands” of German players attempting to earn US eligibility each day.

More on this story as it develops…

Author: David Martin

Writing for and Propagator of soccer satire. @offensive_loons on Twitter and Reddit.

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