From worst to first, can’t guarantee the haikus will be the same.
Chicago Fire
chicago is nice
the Fire don’t play there it’s dumb
what is a Bridgeview
Philadelphia Union
Fafa plus the Gooch
still just a mid-table team
Open Cup run once
Atlanta United
Tata is the coach
big splashy signings could shine
sadly they will not
Columbus Crew
scary ass diamond
we stole Saeid, sad Crew fans
have fun in eighth place
Orlando City SC
what a stadium
purple is the color of Prince
go to hell Lions
New England Revolution
where is Foxboro
not in Qinzee, Go Brady!
deflate some more balls
NYCFC
soccer in New York
still played on a diamond field
David Villa’s god
DC United
third best United
too many wings on the field
knockout round exit
Montreal Impact
french people are dumb
how do you draw a rectangle
the French don’t know how
Toronto FC
Giovinco, god
Jozy and Bradley, ok
second place at best
New York Red Bulls
Auf weidersehn Dax
you too Sporting Director
first place should be ours!
