Western Conference Haiku Predictions

Your award winning prediction segment is back with the Western Conference today. Will Seattle repeat as MLS Champion, does FC Dallas have the depth to compete? Find out in the most traditional of Japanese poetry form!

As always these are from worst to first!

Houston Dynamo

thirty points perhaps
can Cubo Torres make good
invariably, no

San Jose Earthquakes

hey, new kit who dis
no seriously, who dis
Wondo skies the ball

Minnesota United FC

no tailgate, no worry
gettin’ drunk on Surly ale
we’ll need harder stuff

Real Salt Lake

Nick Rimando good
everyone else not so much
solidly eighth place

Vancouver Whitecaps FC

shruggy emojii
where will the offense come from
but seriously

Portland Timbers

chainsaws are stupid
i’ll take Bunyan in a fight
eat it Timber Joey

Sporting KC

sadly in Kansas
right next to a damn racetrack
and shit casino

Colorado Rapids

adios Jerm Jerm
Gashii and Badji up top
where’s Commerce City again?

LA Galaxy

oh hello Jerm Jerm
Gyasi and Gio Should score
homegrowns will play games

Seattle Sounders FC

Sounders just reload
healthy Clint and Jay Mo Smooth
won’t lose many this year

FC Dallas

a double this year
Champions League and the shield
still lose the semis

Leave only correct opinions here

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