Because no one wants to watch
11 (10, maybe 9 MLS matches) here is how these matches will go down! You’re welcome.
NE v ORL –
OCSC bosses in this game. Apparently the Revolution can’t play in the cold, so no game
CHI v RSL – Chicago Fire somehow manage to score like 4 goals and yet still manage to lose.
NYRB v COL – Rapids bunker but Red Bulls and BWP brags a brace!
PHI v TOR – This game will be boring as hell, draw
MON v SEA – Last week’s aberration against Houston not withstanding Seattle bounces back and goals aplenty are scored here.
HOU v CLB – Cubo Torres gets one again this week, but Columbus bags two in short order in extra time.
SKC v FCD – Young kids go to Kansas City and get their asses kicked by old men
SJ v VAN – Meh.
NYCFC v DCU Lots of action, two Throw-in assisted Yankee goals give Villa and the boys in blue the win.
MNUFC v ATL Terminus Legion sends like 8 people to Minnesota and freeze their asses off and get played off the field in the first ever MLS win for the Loons
LAG v POR This could end 0-0 or 4-4 but it definitely ends in a damn draw.
There you have it. Check back on this post on Sunday to see how amazingly wrong I was.