Welcome to the Week 6 Precaps (Editor’s Note: The LAG v MON game was predicted before the match yesterday, but someone, Dave, is not good at pushing Publish on their stupid blog) where we preview all the sweet, sweet, MLS action so you can do actual things that improve your life like reading a book, or cooking a nice meal for your family, you know, so your wife doesn’t leave you for that non-soccer watching sexy fireman. Anyways, as always these picks are 100% accurate.
- LA Galaxy v Montreal Impact – Montreal has to fly across the country and have yet to win a game, the Galaxy play home at Stub Hub and are smarting from the fact that MNUFC is ahead of them in the standings. Galaxy rights that with a 2-0 victory (ED: Holy shit!)
- Chicago Fire v Columbus Crew – Columbus is atop the Eastern Conference and after a hot start Chicago Fire are showing their true form. Despite that the Fire steal a point from the league leaders. 2-2
- New England Revolution v Houston Dynamo – Goals, baby! Goals! Cubo gets a brace, Agudelo gets one too and Houston wins 4-3
- DC United v New York City – Congrats DCU, you guys finally got on the board and scored a couple of goals and picked up a win last night! Too bad that you are running into the buzzsaw that is fully armed and operational NYCFC. Not pretty for DC as they get 1, but NYCF gets 3. 1-3 NYCFC
- Philadelphia Union v Portland Timbers – If there is a team that is more trouble than MNUFC and RSL it’s probably Philadelphia which does not bode well for them as Portland comes into the match having only picked up one point in their past 2 matches. Look for the Sons of Ben to head home very sad. 0-4 to the Timbers
- Toronto v Atlanta United – Toronto is one of the last 3 teams without a loss in MLS play (the other two are FC Dallas and Sporting KC, we’ll get to them shortly). That number drops to two this week as Atlanta comes in, buoyed by stealing a point in the Emerald City, and steals all 3 from last season’s MLS runner-ups. 1-3 Atlanta United.
- Dallas v Minnesota United – FC Dallas will remain undeafeted (in MLS play, we don’t forgive you for that Pachuca disaster) in a game that the less said about it the better. 4-2 FC Dallas.
- Real Salt Lake v Vancouver Whitecaps – Ugh, talk about an unwatchable game, Petke’s Pitch Invaders triumph 1-0.
- San Jose Earthquakes v Seattle Sounders – San Jose’s two losses have both been away from home to competent teams in SKC and NYCFC. I expect them to put up a good fight as their fans get drunk in the largest outdoor bar in the world. They head home happy with a point secured, 2-2.
- Orlando City v New York Red Bulls – Battle of the 4/5 teams in the East. Orlando have been stingy on both ends of the pitch averaging 1 GF and GA in their 3 matches. Red Bulls have not looked right in the 5 matches they have played. OCFC wins 2-1.
- Sporting Kansas City v Colorado Rapids – This game might also be very unwatchable as well. These teams are known for their stingy defense as combined between the 2 teams they are averaging less than half a goal per game allowed and less than a goal per game scored. In fact SKC have only scored and allowed goals in one game this year (they beat San Jose 2-1). Two-thirds of Rapids goals came in their home draw to MNUFC. Easy call is a 0-0 draw, however I think a slightly more attacking Rapids team steals 1 and the score ends up in a relatively unsatisfying 1-1 draw that I can’t wait to watch!
Until next week kids, enjoy your EPL Breakfast, Bundesliga Brunch, MLS appetizers and Liga Mx dinner!