Welcome to a new feature here on The Daves I Know where we take a look at the sexiest matches in Europe from the week that was and preview the upcoming sexy weekend action.
Inter v AC Milan – The Milan Derby did not disappoint. Inter went up 2-0 and AC Milan tied it at the death. Every single Milan fan literally creamed their jeans at that exact moment causing millions of potential children to never even be, which is definitely how you should be have when you’re clinging to 6th place in Serie A
Bayer Leverkusen v Bayern Munich – A very boring 0-0 draw in Leverkusen as Munich maintains an 8 point advantage over RB Leipzig and their stranglehold on the Bundesliga continues relatively unchallenged.
Man United v Chelsea – Jose Mourinho’s former squad comes to town , Mourinho absolutely pantsed Antonio Conte. He did so with Zlatan starting on the bench in a presumed move to gear up for a Europa Run and the Champions League spot that entails. However with this win there is still an outside shot of a Top 4 Finish for MUFC. United is 4 points off Man City and the 4th spot with a game in hand. Intrigue.
Real Madrid v Bayern Munich – 4-2 to Madrid (6:3 Agg) in what was one helluva match. Bayern looked to win it until a Ronaldo goal that was clearly offsides but not called leveled the match. Then Bayern went down to 10 men and Real put their foot on the throats of the German faithful.
Barcelona v Juventus – 0-0 (0:3 Agg) Jiminy Christmas Juve is scary as shit right now. They’ve only allowed 2 goals in Champions League and I’m not sure anyone else is going to stop them.
FA Cup Semifinals which means we get a bunch of crap Premier League action
Speaking of FA Cup Action
Chelsea vs Tottenham – Tottenham is just 4 points back of Chelsea in the league and 14 points clear of Arsenal. So I think we can say with 65% certainty that St. Totteringham’s Day will be cancelled this year. The first time in 22 years??? My prediction Chelsea stomps Spurs on their way to easily clinching the title as Spurs wobble, but ultimately finish 3rd.
Arsenal v Manchester City – The other FA Cup Semifinal is also a heavyweight match, in that heavy expectations and heavy legs have led to subpar performances. Arsenal is likely to finish out of Europe (if they are lucky) and Man City severely under-performed compared to most Pep Guardiola squads. Arsene is gonna want to win this game, but honestly it’s probably best for Arsenal if they lose. 3-2 Gunners
El Clasico Real Madrid v Barcelona – The 100th million version of El Clasico. Neymar Jr. is out because of things. Ronaldo just scored a shit ton of goals against Bayern Munich and Messi, well he’s Messi. Expect Madrid to win going away 3-1
Liverpool v Crystal Palace – Because we need a 4th match. Liverpool wins 3-2.
Enjoy the matches!