Sexy European Roundup

So World Cup Qualifying action happened on the glorious continent, the grey lady, and yadda yadda yadda, let’s talk hot sexy Euro action!

Bosnia-Herzegovina v Greece – BIH did themselves little favors with a boring-ass 0-0 draw! I mean, to be fair, this was wholly expected and totally the match we deserved because of Donald Trump. This is why we don’t get nice things in America, people: goddamn Donald Trump. You did this, America!

Sweden v France – Or maybe we sit through the dregs of watching Greece so we get to see the end of amazing matches like this. France was in line to steal a point in Sweden until a Hugo Lloris boner of a pass and an amazing kick from the half line by Sweden gave all three points to them. Lloris seemed to mishit a clearance pass near the top of the box (I say seemed to because I’m not entirely sure who the fuck he was actually trying to pass the ball to). The win sends Sweden to the top of a loaded group based on Goal Differential tied with France, but the Netherlands after a big win themselves are only three points back in third place.

Scotland v England – This was possibly the match of the weekend. Scotland had thought they had bagged all three points against their island neighbors, but for Sir Harry of Kane and his late game heroics. England gave the captain’s armband to Kane and he totally earned it. England stayed unbeaten in qualifying and Scotland remains six points behind England and three points off of second place.

Iceland v Croatia – Because we needed another match won at the death. Sigurdsson lashed a cross into the box in the 90th minute that Hörður Magnússon finished to pull level with group leaders Croatia on points. Iceland’s backline held firm and limited the Croatian attack to just one weak shot.

Serbia v Wales – The Welsh took the lead midway through the first half on a penalty, but could not hold on till the end as Serbia drew level to split the points. Serbia is still atop the group and the Welshmen stay in third. Definitely going to need some help from teams other than Wales for the Dragons to make it to Russia in 2018!

Confederations Cup

This weekend the Confederations Cup kicks off, so let’s take a look at matches featuring the European sides this weekend.

Saturday

Russia v New Zealand – First match pits the host against the (only) team from Oceania. The Ruskies oughta win this one, but who the hell knows. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they completely shit the bed. More to the point how: many fucking people are the Russian hooligans going to beat up?

Sunday

Portugal v Mexico – This should be one helluva match. The reigning Euro Champions take on the CONCACAF Gold Cup Champions, Mexico. Portugal played very defensively against all of Europe last year and it paid off with hardware. The Mexican team is coming off of a 1-1 draw to the United States and turned around and flew from Mexico straight to Russia on Sunday. So with less than a week to prepare and a long ass flight I’d wager the Mexicans are bound to be less than focused.

Puppy Rumour Mill

No Rumour Mill this week as I just got back from another trip to Kansas City, this time a long 33 hours as opposed to the 22 hour one I took ten days ago. Plus, let’s be honest–the Mill hasn’t been churning a ton of hot juicy gossip in the last two weeks. As summer heats up though and I get bored I’m pretty sure I can create some juicy scenarios. So check back next week for that!

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