The Sims: Off Week Edition

Minnesota United has been off since the 4th of July loss to Columbus. The simulation machine correctly predicted a Loons loss in that one, so I’ve got a little bit of walking around money this week. Good thing, too; I don’t have any other means of transportation these days. Getting back to the soccer, the good folks at Sports Interactive sent me an advance copy of Football Manager 18 to test out. The new features include an Off Week Simulator that lets the manager know what his players are up to when there’s a break in the schedule.

Some players took day trips, some tried to pick up new hobbies. The non-American players were disappointed to find out that the Home Run Derby wasn’t a soccer rivalry, but settled for watching it just to see Pitbull in a baseball uniform. Let’s see what some fan favorites were up to all week.

Bobby Shuttleworth

Bobby spent the week in an intensive beginner’s costume design class. The plastic mask made him a star in Minnesota, but the black and blue masquerade one he worked so hard on will make him a club legend.


Upon not seeing his name when the MLS All-Star fan vote results were announced, Ibson immediately went to the nearest park and threw himself to the ground, his arms raised in disbelief. He stayed like that for three straight days until someone finally asked him if he was okay.

Brent Kallman

Brent spent a couple of days showing Sam Nicholson some of the highlights of the Twin Cities, just to make sure he knew where everything was.

Sam Nicholson

Sam was impressed with the number of stores and identical neighborhoods, but spent a lot of time trying to contact somebody that would give him a tour of someplace other than Woodbury.

Miguel Ibarra

Miggy started guitar lessons, remembering the time two years ago when Christian said he really admired people that could play the guitar. Ibarra was determined to learn his old roommate’s favorite song before his wedding, in the hopes that he would reconsider spending the rest of his life with “that desvergonzada”.

Justin Davis

Justin pretty much just did yard work all week. Those pavers don’t place themselves you know. If his landscaping project isn’t complete, the left back anticipates he’ll still have plenty of time to continue with it once the Loons resume play.

Jerome Thiesson

Jerry took in a Twins game against the Orioles and practiced running around the concourse, flapping his arms like a loon would its wings. It took him two and a half hours to get back to his apartment after the game, stopping to hand out Toblerone bars and take pictures with everyone he met on the street.

Christian Ramirez

Superman sat in his darkened living room, watching the United States draw 1-1 with Panama, his leg twitching every time Dom Dwyer missed a shot. He muttered obscenities about Bruce Arena’s weight under his breath every time he was shown on the broadcast. After the game he opened up Priceline to see how much tickets to Bogota were going for.

Well the Off Week Simulator in the new edition of Football Manager is weirdly specific, but it’s a very cool feature that allows for an even more immersive experience. And best of all, I didn’t lose any money or possessions this week!


Author: David Baker

Going grey early; just like Steve Martin but not nearly as funny. I graduated from the University of Minnesota in 2013 with a degree in Recreation, Parks, and Leisure Studies. I love soccer as well as just about any other sport they play in North America.

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