Drunk Trades: No, You’re A Movsisyan!

Welcome back! In your 4th of July drunken haze, you may have noticed that we did not have a drunk trades article last week. The simple reason for that was because I, like a True American Patriot™, spent my 4th of July in a drunken haze.

There are a couple of key rules to spending your 4th in a hops and barley fueled stupor:

  1. Stick to light beer: America may be at the forefront of the craft beer evolution, but you simply cannot put down 17 double imperial russian black IIIIPAs that have an alcohol content of 128%. You’ll be black-out drunk before you even get a chance to blow your remaining two fingers off with fireworks so knock-off the warning label just says: may explode.
  2. Graze upon the splendor of America’s culinary gift to the world: BBQ. The 4th is the perfect time to eat every animal. Sausages? Check. Giant turkey leg? Bingo. Triple-decker hamburger? You fucking bet. Ribs of pretty much every mammal? U-S-A! U-S-A! Also, having a good protein base will let your body stomach slow the deadly flow of toxins into your liver.

Anyways, let’s get on to an actual trade this week. We have the land of 10,000 lakes teaming up with the city best known for one lake to get a deal done.

Salt Lake Trades: F Yura Movsisyan, $200,000 in TAM, 2018 First round MLS Super Draft pick

Minnesota Trades: 2019 Fourth Round MLS Super Draft Pick (note: MNUFC has somehow traded their 2018 third and fourth round picks and their 2019 third round pick. Incredible for a last place team.)

Why Salt Lake Does It: They want to get rid of Movsisyan. There has been postings on MLS’ own website about it! This trade allows them to open up a DP slot that just cutting Movsisyan would not allow. Buying him down out of a DP slot would cost RSL about $500k give or take, so this saves them a couple hundred grand. This would open up a spot to make a big splashy move or simply move out a player who doesn’t get along with the coach.

Why Minnesota Does It: Minnesota has all three of their DP slots open currently. My gym membership gets more use than those three DP slots. They might as well rent one out and get an asset of Salt Lake’s likely high first round pick in return. Movsisyan can either play next to Christian Ramirez up top (because lord knows Danladi won’t stay healthy) or serve as a main back-up to the leading American goal scorer.

Why Salt Lake Doesn’t Do It: The boys in red and some shade of blue that is totally unique (fake editor’s note: That’s what the team calls the color. We looked it up.) could just hold on to Movsisyan for the year and make whatever move they want now in the winter instead.  They also are out of the playoffs and may have no urgency to give up an asset like a draft pick when Movsisyan’s contract is up after this year.

Why Minnesota Doesn’t Do It: Straight. Cash. Homie. Yura’s contract for the entire year was approximately $2m. My cocktail napkin math says that means he’s still owed about $1m for half a season. Even with the $200k in TAM, does it make it worth-while to spend $800k on a Designated Player that will only be with the team for four months? The going rate for a high first round MLS draft pick is approximately $150-200k, so this is a steep price to pay. However, it’s at least only salary and not a trade-able asset like GAM/TAM.

A trade that moves an overpriced malcontent for an unused roster spot and a draft pick is never a sexy one, but in the world of MLS it might just make sense. And if any of your Euro snob friends laugh at you for the ridiculous roster rules in America, make sure you give them the well done hamburger and sparkler with the shortest stick.

Go America and make good choices!

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