Is it just me or has this version of the Gold Cup been the most drab and idiotic tournament ever. I’d argue this has been worse than the Confederations Cup, which is itself a garbage tournament.
Each team has played two matches so let’s figure out which national team fanbase has the most about which to panic!
Canada (1-1-0, 4 points +2 GD) – Very much not fucked, actually lead their group on goal difference. A draw against Honduras should be enough to get them through.
Costa Rica (1-1-0, 4 points +1 GD) – Also not fucked, and playing French Guiana their fate should be sealed by halftime tonight.
Honduras (1-0-1, 3 points +2 GD) – Honduras have the best GD of all three 3rd place teams, mostly due to French Guiana being incompetent idiots. Plus they have the best chance of the 3rd place teams to win their last match.
French Guiana (0-0-2, 0 points -5 GD) – Very much fucked, not technically eliminated, but basically eliminated.
United States (1-1-0, 4 points +1 GD) – They played an absolutely boring game against Panama last Saturday and basically played 10 minutes of good soccer against Martinique on Wednesday, barely surviving a major upset. They should boss Nicaragua around the field, but you would’ve said the same thing about the match earlier this week.
Panama (1-1-0, 4 points +1 GD) – Behind the US only on goals scored. They play first on Saturday and should know whether they are through by the end of their match.
Martinique (1-0-1, 3 points +1 GD) – Gave the USA a run for their money on Wednesday night and will hope to build on that against Panama on Saturday. As long as they don’t lose by multiple goals they should find themselves in the Quarterfinals.
Nicaragua (0-0-2, 0 points -3 GD) – Again, more or less eliminated, would need to beat US by multiple goals and have Martinique lose to Panama; while that should happen, beating the US is highly unlikely.
Mexico (1-1-0, 4 points +2 GD) – All of these groups are literally the same from top to bottom as Group B, including Mexico leading this group – like the US – due to goals scored. Mexico seems to be the least affected by a bad game. A match against Curaçao should solidify top of the group for El Tri.
Jamaica (1-1-0, 4 points +2 GD) – Jamaica avenged their Caribbean Cup final loss to Curaçao last Sunday with a 2-0 win. They also fought hard for a draw against Mexico and barring a complete meltdown versus El Salvador they should be through to the Quarterfinals.
El Salvador (1-0-1, 3 points +0 GD) – El Salvador is probably the most fucked third place team, if only because of goal differential. If they have a low scoring draw with Jamaica they will probably be left out in the cold. This is a must win for a very young El Salvador squad.
Curaçao (0-0-2, 0 points -4 GD) – It was a nice run for Curaçao. They are finally achieving some international success. It’s been a tough Gold Cup so far, but perhaps they can give Mexico a good match as they bow out of the tournament.
Matches to keep an eye on this weekend!
Friday – Canada v Honduras
Saturday – Panama v Martinique
Sunday – Jamaica v El Salvador