International breaks mean nothing to those scofflaws in MLS. At least 14 teams decided to take the weekend off but not all of them, therefore all of these games are terrible, with the possible exception of the Impact-Fire match if only so that we can see how much of a tire fire the Fire are. Because these games are crap, above is a picture of my cat!
New England Revolution v Orlando City SC – There has been a lot of 2-2 draws in this matchup and this one should be similar. Cyle Larin has stuck around at least for now and Dom Dwyer has been shit since he joined OCSC. 2-2 Draw.
Montreal Impact v Chicago Fire – Ignacio Piatti has been on an absolute tear and the Chicago Fire have been absolute shit! The Fire gave the Loons their first road win ever last week. Fun fact the last 5 Impact and Fire matches have involved at least 3 goals, expect nothing different this week. 4-1 Impact.
FC Dallas v New York Red Bulls – While the Fire have been absolutely fucking dreadful the last 6 weeks, the Dallas Burn are giving them a run for their money in that respect as well. The Red Bulls lost at Portland and drew the Hudson River Derby last week but I fully expect them to come firing on all cylinders this weekend. 2-1 to the Red Bulls.
LA Galaxy v Colorado Rapids – Don’t watch this game under any circumstance. This would be like staring at an eclipse, your retinas will burn out and you will be blind. 0-0 Draw.
Alright that’s it, but seriously please do not watch that LA-Colorado game, for the love of god!