MLS Precaps Week 30: Midweek Murder Mayhem

So this is the last big mid-week matchday as 16 of the leagues 22 teams do battle, including a few matches with major playoff implications.

Atlanta United v Philadelphia Union – This is the sixth match in 17 days for Atlanta. They will ultimately have nine in 28 thanks to Megatron’s Butthole not being open back in August. The Union while not officially eliminated are six points back and would need to jump three teams ahead of them to get into sixth, however, they have been on a run recently. These teams shared the points earlier this year, don’t expect the same this week. Atlanta wins 4-1.

NY Red Bulls v DC United – The Red Bulls have been in a swoon and are falling down the Eastern Conference table and currently sit sixth. What can ail a swoon, well a visit from the red and black of DC United, Patrick Mullins notwithstanding. NY Red Bulls win 3-0.

Orlando City SC v New England Revolution – The Revolution are still in the playoff hunt but on the outside looking in. They got a win after shit-caning Jay Heaps after the debacles against Atlanta and Sporting KC a couple of weeks ago. A lot would need to go right for them to make a playoff push. That would need to start with a win down in Orlando tonight. Draw 2-2.

Montreal Impact v NYCFC – Montreal got some measure of revenge by beating Toronto FC midweek then they went down to Atlanta and shit the bed. NYCFC haven’t won in three weeks and haven’t scored more than one goal in over a month. NYCFC needs to grab points to keep that second spot away from Atlanta Draw 1-1.

FC Dallas v Colorado Rapids – Good god, this is going to be an absolutely terrible fucking game. Do not watch this fucking game. FC Dallas wins 2-0.

Houston Dynamo v LA Galaxy – Jesus christ, what the fuck happened to Houston as well? I remember at one point early in the year they were in second place in the Western Conference. Oh, yeah that’s right, this team is even worse than Minnesota United on the road! Well good thing they are down in Houston midweek and then this weekend against Minnesota (one of only four teams to take points off of Houston at home). Houston wins 3-2.

Seattle Sounders v Vancouver Whitecaps – The Sounders haven’t won a match since beating the Loons back on August 20th. They have four draws and a loss (last week to RSL) and in that time they haven’t scored more than 1 goal. The Whitecaps are possibly the hottest team in MLS rocketing to the top of the Western Conference. The Sounders definitely could use a result to buoy their spirits ahead of the playoffs next month. Sounders win 2-1.

San Jose Earthquakes v Chicago Fire – The Earthquakes are fighting for their playoff lives and while the Fire should make the playoffs they are in a free fall from where they were two months ago. Both teams could use the points, but a mid-week match home should favor the Earthquakes. San Jose wins 3-1.

See you all back here on Friday!

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